got me going c r a z y.

26.09.16

2209H

 

i spend my summer nights

drowning in my fallen fight

i wish someone would take the pain away

but then i refuse to let anyone stay

 

i spend my summer nights

drinking away in the limelight

thinking how my efforts were a waste

stressing over how he left me a bad taste

 

i spend my summer nights

crouched and ready to flight

the adrenaline a no joke

tempting me to sniff coke

 

i spend my summer nights

praying substance abuse won’t be my plight

but then i caught his gaze

and everything else became a blurry daze

 

i spend my summer nights

recounting memories of how we were tight

thought he’d stick by when he knew

but maybe to him i was just one of his few

 

i spend my summer nights

feeling downcast and out of sight

tried to hide all of my pain

but then i ask, what do i gain

 

i spend my summer nights

trying to live with all my might

but he had driven me into a frenzy

and now he got me going crazy

 

2222H

 

nana

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speak for the broken.

21.08.16

 

you had me at hello

lost me at goodbye

said you’ll rid my sorrows

but then you became my demise

 

you loved me one day

but then you threw me away

just because i wasn’t okay

so you didn’t want to stay

 

but that’s alright with me

it’s nothing new or unique

got left behind by plenty

with no one i could seek

 

and after all this time

i still stood by my life

if i had changed for the people

i would be bursting my own bubble

 

broken and dead inside

with no medication that could fix

tired of standing tall

now i’m on the bathroom floor

 

my cuts bleed

and my scars won’t fade

don’t need no stitches

they’ll come undone anyway

 

hysteria deep in my bones

a body where chaos reigns

no matter how hard i try

the disturbia won’t fade away

 

nana

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i’m not the only one.

11.08.16

” you say, i’m crazy

’cause you don’t think i know what you’ve done. 

but when you call me baby, 

i know i’m not the only one. “

 

and i know that i’ll never be your only one.

ever.

from the first time we met

till the day i went

i couldn’t tell

if your love was true

and i only felt

a glimmer of hope

momentarily

but you went ahead

took her in your embrace

love her just the same you did me

and then you pushed me away

no regrets, feeling like i was a mistake you made

and henceforth i knew

i would never be your only one.

ever.

 

nana

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he who loved me not.

06.08.16

the light of my life

the apple of my eye

the soul i needed to survive

the boy who said goodbye

the charming lies

the moonlit eyes

the honorary friend

the boy who caused a horrific end

the guy that cared

the bro who always shared

the pal that protected

the boy who made me the shattered.


nana

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the truth.

04.08.16

to the little birdie who couldn’t fly

who knew the mother would lie

told her her wings were made to soar in the sky

but that was just flashes of hope passing by

 

she knew it was wrong

she knew it wasn’t true

and boy it wasn’t that long

before she felt down and blue

 

for the truth was she was just a birdie

with no hope in life

death was her destiny

and it was only a matter of time.

 

nana

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